The Gym

I was agreeing with my best friend Rose just the other day about the fact that we are great starters...but sometimes the follow through is lacking.  I had this in mind when I was contemplating a gym membership.  A few months ago I began exercising using the P90x program and was totally gun-ho for the first 30 days.  After that I P90 pooped out!

I confided in my neighbor and friend Kimmy, that I wasn't sure if I would be able to stick it out at the gym.  After all look at the P90 outcome.  She graciously reminded me that I always tend to pick the hardest thing possible to attempt and she encouraged me to go to the gym and try it out.  I did, and I am glad I did!  I have been going for two weeks now, and am learning so much.  Learning about my physical limitations, learning about ways to stay healthy, and learning about a new friend I made (which is the reason I started going to this particular gym) Candi.

Candi is a few inches shorter than me, petite and just a wonderful lady.  In the two weeks that we've been going to the gym together, I've learned about her family, some of her hardships in life and the fact that she never goes out without eye makeup on:) We groan about our aches together and laugh when we watch the brave people doing Zumba in the next room.  We aren't sure if we are coordinated enough to do Zumba, but we're going to try one day...one day.  It's fun to have a new friendship on the horizon.

On Being Aggravated

Lately I've been working through a few things.  Ideas that have been twisted around in my mind since I was young, anger over being fed thoughts and beliefs that weren't valid much less biblical, and more than anything I've been aggravated over the way that people choose to talk about their personal convictions and in most cases just their personal opinion as fact.

It is no secret to my family or my friends where I stand on the issue of homosexuality.  The beliefs that I have on this issue have come from a long (and I do mean long) internal struggle, and an even longer struggle that has taken place right in my own family.  I'm not here to tell you what I believe, and most definitely not going to debate or argue whether I'm right, or you are.  This is the part where I get to speak, where my opinion is valid, where people don't tell me how I should think or feel.

I have watched Christians debate over homosexuality, be afraid of homosexuality and worst of all, cut family members off because of their lifestyle; just recently I heard an opinion (a view based solely on their point of view, not fact) that if a person accepts Christ as Savior, and then chooses to live their life as a homosexual, they are going to hell.  The hair went up on the back of my neck.  As I said before I'm not going to debate where I stand on the issue.  I am, however, going to say this: I have had it up to my eyeballs with people who tout this belief as biblical fact.

In the fundamentalist world homosexuality is a sin, just like drinking, drug addiction, murder, gossip and any of the other sins that the Bible lists as displeasing to God.  There is also the fact that a sin, is a sin, is a sin...hence all sins are equal in God's sight.  There is nothing that I can do to make my sin worse or better than any other sin, and God's forgiveness for sin is across the board equal  no matter which one, or multiple ones that you or I struggle with.  Also, once saved, always saved right?  So if these things are true, then how is the person that accepts Christ as Savior, then lives a homosexual lifestyle any worse than someone who accepts Christ as Savior and then chooses to live addicted to drugs?  I did.

I was saved at a young age, but chose to use drugs to numb out my problems for about 10 years.  You would be quick to tell me that I didn't lose my salvation, but then your theory would be flawed. According to you, because I chose to live that lifestyle, I am going to hell right?   I know people that accept Christ and continue to smoke...did they lose their salvation? Or how about someone who is a Christian but chooses to use curse words...are they going to hell? To all people that call themselves Christians and then choose which sin to be prejudice about, shame on you.  Gossip is a sin; do you tell the little old lady in church who has been saved most of her life that because she chooses to gossip about everybody and their brother behind their back she is going to hell?  Do you tell her that she is no longer a part of your family and can no longer attend family functions?  Do you take that firm a stand on every sin?  How come we (I include all Christians in this statement) pick and choose which sins are worse than others and then walk around with our heads held high and chests puffed out because we found someone whose sin measures up higher on the "bad" list?

And homosexuality is just the beginning.  What about what the Bible calls fornication?  If a young couple (who are saved) decide to have sex before marriage, do you tell them they are going to hell?  Oh by the way, isn't judging people a sin?  So by becoming the judges of every other person's sin...are YOU going to hell?  And don't tell me that what you meant to say was, if I repent and change my way, then and only then will I go to heaven.  If I accept Christ as my Savior, I am NEVER going to lose that...EVER.  Has my life been pleasing to God the last 10 years?  No, but not because my sin was greater than anyone elses'.  Did I know it was wrong?  Yes, but there is such a thing as free will...choice.  It's what God gives to each of us, a choice.  And guess what?  God didn't give me a horrible disease or disfigure my kids because I chose to live in sin.

I was raised in a cult; one in which we judged everyone for everything, and one where having standards and convictions were ways to measure better on the sin list.  After coming out of that world, I have questioned everything I ever believed or was taught. It is a tough road, but I am slowly coming to my own beliefs, and I refuse to be told what to believe.  I also realize that my beliefs are not what get me to heaven - it's the fact that Christ died for my sins.  I have also realized that there really isn't any sin that's greater than another, and there is no sin that the blood of Christ can't cover.  I could have talked about every sin known to man, but the issues on homosexuality are close to my heart.  I will never lose another family member because of a belief system that puts me above them.

My sin, no matter what it is, will never be "better" than anyone elses' sin.  I can't go back and change the past, I can only move forward and thank God for the grace that he pours out to me every day.  By God's grace I am taking one day at a time learning not to drown my confusion in drugs.  Being uniquely flawed is what makes us uniquely human, and no matter what I chose to do it will never change the way that God looks at me, through the nail scared hands of his Son.  That is mercy and grace.  So I challenge all my brothers and sisters in Christ to re-evaluate your thought process.  Make sure that your beliefs are not based on your opinion, but rest firmly on the Word of God.  And let's not be the judge of other people; when people look at us, they should see the love of Christ, not the ugliness of our opinions.  I am still in the learning process, and don't expect anyone to understand my ramblings.  In fact I'm sure this will anger some of you, surprise some of you and maybe you'll even talk about me behind my back (you always knew there was something wrong...just couldn't put your finger on it right?).

But that's okay; I know who I am in Christ, and will not be held down by my past or by other people's opinions of me.  To live effectively for Him, every minute of every day is my goal.  And I will never stop thanking him for his mercy and grace.

All things logical

I just can't figure out why the logical part of my brain doesn't work in certain situations!  It makes no sense to me how I can run with the ambulance and make split second decisions, use critical thinking on all my calls and yet when my kids are about to miss the bus, all logic goes out the door!

This morning was our typical Tuesday morning; I was showering, the kids were helping get each other breakfast and the dogs were napping.  I decided to do a time check and noticed that the bus was stopped outside at the end of the driveway!!  I could have just said, "Hey kids, the bus is here and you're going to miss it, I'll drive you to school once I get dressed."

I could have said that, but I didn't.  Instead I begin yelling for the kids to get their backpacks and jackets while I hid behind the TV stand, and as if there wasn't enough chaos, both dogs got out the front door.  I couldn't go after the dogs wrapped only in a towel!  Panic ensued until David jumped out of bed and saved the day!

And I heard him grumble as he fell back into bed,
Wouldn't this have been easier if you'd just used your head?

Time Flies!

I can hardly believe that summer is coming to an end, though I'm not too sad to see it go.  I was talking to a friend at VBS this week and she summed it up pretty well; "Well...the summer just hasn't been what we thought it was going to be like, it's been the summer of fixing and cleaning up!"

We were more than surprised to see that our electric bill went up (drastically) for June and July; this was a surprise to us because we were expecting some sort of break since we had eight days without power due to the Derecho that we lived through.  Found out that since the city had to bring in linemen from Texas, they increased everybody's bill to pay for the overtime the city incurred as a result.  And don't even get me started about Comcast...their memorized statement went something like this, "Since you being without power was an act of God and not our fault, we won't be issuing you a credit."  Lovely.  David's truck is on the fritz and the list goes on. I was starting to feel a little (big) pity party coming on, but then had a chance to talk to some other friends and realized that this summer seemed to be a squeeze for just about everyone.  It is nice to have things put in perspective sometimes, it helps me take my eyes of of myself and put them back where they belong!

David is what I am calling the "Lemonade King".  So far this summer life has been handing us lemons, but he continues to try and succeeds in finding the positive in some tough situations.  I love him for that.  We had to cancel our anniversary trip which I had been planning for a while.  But, like usual, David came up with some ways to make the time fun even though we can't go away.  He suggested that we let the kids to and spend the time with Grammy as planned; then we can do some day trips to places we went when we were dating!  Yes folks, my husband can be romantic when he wants to:)  

This past week was vacation bible school at our church, and my kids loved it!  I went along with the kids to lend a hand and had a great time getting to know some ladies that I had seen at church but didn't really know.  There is nothing like laughing with other ladies and swapping kid stories!  Summer is coming to an end, but this is only the start of a new chapter!  Zach is going into second grade, Julia into first and Brandon is excited to "Do school with Mommy" after the kids get on the bus! Can't wait!

Herbie

Of all reptiles, the turtle is just about the only one I like:)  For instance, they just seem more lovable than a snake, then again I guess most animals are more lovable than snakes!  And since I like turtles, I am one of those crazy people you see along the side of the road moving turtles (probably in the opposite direction they were wanting to go, but hey, it's a free ride right?) to safety.

Two Sundays ago, the kids and I were on our way home from church and noticed a decent sized box turtle in the road.  Despite traffic whizzing by, it had it's head out and was looking around.  I stopped the van and picked him up; the kids were ecstatic!  That's when the plan came to me, let's take him home:)  No, David wasn't with us, which is what made this thought even a possibility!!  The kids were on board with the idea in seconds...until I put him in the van.

That turtle wasn't shy at all, and began climbing under seats and making his way all over the van exploring.  Julia was of course very excited about taking him home, but as soon as she realized he could crawl around, she tucked her knees up under her chin and commenced to scrying...yes it is a made up word which means to scream and cry simultaneously!  She was relieved to find that the turtle couldn't reach her and soon calmed down enough to enjoy his antics in the van!  I explained to the children that even though the turtle was a wild animal, and that we would be letting him go when we got home, it would be fun to name him.  He was soon crowned Herbie the turtle.  Herbie came home with us, was properly shown off to all neighboring friends, given some lettuce and then released to find a new place to live out back.

Baby Steps...No More!

For the past eight years, we've been taking baby steps in our house...and I think those days are coming to an end!  Brandon (2 1/2) has decided that diapers and pull-ups are not for him.  He's been in underwear for two days now (pull up at night, much to his horror!) without any accidents!  I told my cousin Jamie this afternoon, when I don't have expectations, life is like one happy incident after another.  I pushed Zach to potty train, and it was a disaster; all of you who know Julia will believe me when I say she potty trained herself before she turned 2, and with Brandon I just had no expectations. He is my last, and I'm not pushing him, so what if he goes to college with his monkey pillow pet right? :) 

In other news, Zachary has decided that now going into second grade he wanted shoes with laces...no more Velcro for the big man!  I'm tellin' ya, it's been exciting around here these days!  Zach learned to tie his shoes in a few minutes of teaching and has been proudly sporting his new sneakers ever since.  Julia told me she wants shoes that have laces as well, so I'm sure she'll teach herself how to do that soon too!  

We had company at my parent's pool today, the best kind of guests...cousins:)  While the kids were swimming and having fun, none of the five adults noticed that Brandon had walked into the shallow end without swimmies on.  We don't know how long he was in, but he somehow made it back to the steps and got out all by himself none the worse for the wear.  When my mom got in with him later, she asked him to show her what he did when he was in the pool by himself.  He told her, "I hold my breath and kick my feet", he hops in the water and showed us how he got back to the steps!!  Since he can't touch the bottom yet, he knows that he needs to wear his swimmies, but I think by the end of summer he'll be ready to swim on his own!

Uncle Rob and Brandon chillin'

Aunt Kim and Uncle Rob pulled their camper out of our backyard on Friday morning:(  I loved having them here, we all did, but know they couldn't stay forever.  I take my hat off to them for reaching out and making their dreams a reality; they know if they come back this way to visit (or even to stay) they have a home here with us.  Every morning I look in my backyard and sigh, other than the impressions on our heart, the only thing they left behind is a big bare patch of ground where their rug was!  Well that and their big 60 inch TV in our basement...which is my insurance that they will be coming back at some point!  We miss them, and just this evening while out driving the kids started yelling, "Aunt Kim's Jeep!!".  It wasn't and they were disappointed:(  Since we are planning on a Disney Cruise in April of 2013, we made plans to go down a day in advance, spend the night with Aunt Kim and Uncle Rob, and then a few days after the cruise as well.  So now Zachary asks me every day how many more days until our cruise.  Well son, 239 and counting down...

Aunt Kim's Jeep!

Aunt Kim and Lexi...two beautiful ladies:)

Kim and Rob are forever friends, and you only get so many of those in your life.  The lessons I learned while they were here...enjoy each moment, you just don't know how many moments you have left; that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be, both physically and emotionally.  That real friends don't judge the person you are, they accept you, love you and help you become the person you always wanted to be.  I will be forever grateful for the two months that they stayed with us.

Julia's interesting ailment...never a dull moment!

Some other happenings here would be that Julia has survived yet another interesting ailment (only my Julia!).  She came to me one evening saying her finger was hurting, at the time I couldn't see much other than it was red near her cuticle.  She has her mommy's bad habit of biting her nails, so I figured she bit down too close to the skin and it would go away.  Boy was I wrong!  By the next morning the tip of her finger was swollen to three times it's normal size and even more painful; along with this she started with a fever:(  Boo, that definitely spelled infection.  The pressure in her finger was getting so bad we had to use a needle and drain some of what was in the 'bubble' just above her finger nail...not fun with a dramatic six year old!  But she was a trooper and after a week of oral and topical antibiotics I am happy to announce her finger is back to it's normal shape and size!

About a week before Kim and Rob left, our grill bit the dust.  Unlike some people, we use our grill all year long, in any kind of weather, so this left us without a very big means of cooking.  David started looking at grills online and found one that he liked, it was HUGE!  But we love camping and one thing we love about camping is cooking on charcoal.  The grill David picked was a good fit for us, propane on one side, charcoal on the other.  I decided to surprise David and pick the grill up without him knowing; my Dad graciously took me and all three kids to Lowes and after some debate I picked out this one:

The main part of the grill is propane, and the little side grill is charcoal, which also acts as a smoker for the larger section!  We love it, and even got to grill some chicken for everyone before Kim and Rob departed for Virginia.  The nice thing is that the charcoal part is portable, it can be detached from the main grill and sits on it's little legs; so it can go eventually go with us camping!

Our latest venture is one we'll be diving into tomorrow.  A while back of the men David works with started doing Sunday dinner for the men and women on the platoon; so if the platoon was working over a Sunday, they would at least be able to enjoy a nice meal together.  When this officer went to another shift, the dinners stopped, and David mentioned how much he missed it.  So I volunteered to take it over!  Tomorrow at 7:30 pm I will be serving homemade roast beef, gravy, mashed potatoes, pasta salad, green salad and rolls to 30 plus officers.  I am excited and nervous at the same time; can't wait to see if everyone likes it!  I guess all the time I spent in the various commercial kitchens (Dallas Training Center, Papua New Guinea Desitnation Summit, and Family and Friends Tea Shop) will be coming in handy!

Let you know how it goes!  

Seize The Day...

It's unusual for us to attend more than one funeral every so many years, and yet this past week I have attended two.  The first was for my Aunt Janice; an amazing woman, wife, mother and friend whose life touched so many people.  It was a challenge to me to focus on what was important...like Aunt Janice did, and spend my time investing in people.  The second funeral was for a man I did not know personally, but because he was a Police Officer I went in support of his family and the other Officers (including David) who were going to pay their respects.  It was a stark reminder of the reality that faces each of us who are wives of Officers, or firemen, or anyone who lays their life on the line every single day that they go in to work.  Talking with my friend Alicia (her husband works with David) we came to this conclusion. This is not a job so much as a lifestyle, and one that we didn't fully understand until we began living it.  There is a bond for other's "in blue" that I never understood before, definitely a brotherhood.  

My husband (and Alicia's too!) loves his job, and even the crazy hours that he works (3:30 pm to 2:15 am) and honestly I would rather have a crazy schedule and a happy husband than the other way around.  After the big storm we had it was more evident than ever that families of officers are often "on our own" for the sake of the public.  David was not home during the storm, and even though my thoughts were for my kids at first, my heart skipped a beat until I could get through to David, when I realized that he was out in the storm.  He and I did not have a chance to really talk until several days after the storm and I found that my survival instincts had kicked in; I hadn't allowed my real feelings to kick in until I was sure everyone was safe.  As Dave and I sat on the couch I burst into tears; angry that once again I was alone during a time when it would have been more than nice if David was here. Decisions had to be made, and David wasn't available for me to bounce things off of.  He was angry too, but for different reasons.  He was powerless to keep us safe, forced to guard the safety of others while he had no clue what his family was going through.  For a man, that's tough.   

We realized that we have to give each other and the kids over to the Lord every single day. And when David crawls into bed next to me at 2:30 or whenever, I thank God he made it home safe.  I don't know that I'll ever be okay with the public coming first in situations like these, but Dave and I could look back on the situation, compare stories and be proud of each other for the way we handled this one.  More than ever I am grateful for the fact that David and I are a team; a team that only God knew would work.  

All that to say that I have been looking for ways to seize the day and enjoy David and the children every single day.  Some days are easier than others, but it helps when I stop to realize that our time here on earth really is short...only what's done for Christ will last.  Seize the day!