End of School

Tomorrow is the last day of school for the summer, and to tell the truth I am so excited to have the kids home.  I know, after a while I'll be ready for them to go back, but I've missed them!  I really appreciate the work that their teachers did this year; you know it has to be a passion with all the time and just how much of themselves they pour into my kids.  We have been blessed with great teachers all the way!

Zach, Brandon and Julia on the front porch swing!

For a couple weeks now we've had company!  Our friends Kim and Rob Scamoffo have moved their camper into our backyard and set up "camp".  They are in transition and will be moving to Florida in about a month or so.  People always say how hard it can be to live with family/friends, but we have had just the opposite and when they leave it will be a sad day for me.  I am excited that they are daring to dream together and pursue those dreams, even if it means leaving their comfort zone:)  In the meantime, it's been wonderful having them so close by.  Once in a while we have meals together, but  mostly I have enjoyed sitting out with them and having other adults to talk to.  The company is really great, and I have been begging them to stay...as far as I'm concerned, they can stay forever!

For once I've been able to relax enough to watch our lives start to transition.  Instead of worry, I feel excited; strange feeling for me since I've been a worrier most of my life.  Two days ago Dave and I had the chance to have an entire day to ourselves!  Mom kept the kiddos and David and I went to one of our favorite places to wander around, Longwood Gardens.  I think I can safely say it's been over a year since we've had a day dedicated to just the two of us and what we wanted to do!  We started by eating at a great place PF Changs, for lunch.  For the past six months or so I have discovered the spice curry, and LOVE it!  So when I found something on PF Changs menu that was stir fried in a curry sauce, I was in heaven!

Spicy Street Noodles from PF Chang's!

We leisurely strolled through the gardens, talking about everything and dreaming about our future together.  I think that has to be one of the best parts of marriage, having someone to dream with.  We wandered and looked at things that we generally bypass because of little feet getting tired.  And we even got to hold hands!  This is a big deal, since we have three kids, our hands are always full and busy with bags, books, shoes, diapers and all the things that come with having children.  And while we love our children, it was nice to hold a hand that was bigger than mine.  A simple gesture, but meant so much!

Proof that we do kiss:)

When Julia found out that we were going out for the day she said, "Is this like a date?"  I told her yes to which she replied, "Ooooh I bet you guys are going to kiss!!".  I told her I hoped so:)  Oh and for the record...we did kiss, I even got a picture of it to show Julia!!  Another transition in our lives is that Brandon (2 years old) has started being more and more interested in potty training.  I wasn't going to push him, so kind of surprised me.  He's doing great, we've still got a ways to go, but at least it's a step in the right direction.  Now if I can just stop him from dropping his drawers in the yard we'll be doing something!

We are at a really great place in our life, not perfect, but really great.  I am so thankful for these times of relief and rest that God brings our way.  I will try and post a few pictures if blogger lets me, signing off blessed and happy.



~Becky~

Life Lessons

"Do you ever get tired of learning," I asked my girlfriend Kimmy who was sitting next to me in the white rocking chair on my front porch.
She replied, "I love learning, but I do get tired of life lessons."
This was a great way to put into words how I've been feeling lately...tired of life lessons.  It's funny how we don't go through them all the time (and thank goodness!), but it can be a tiring process for a while.  It also amuses me to think that just when we think we've got things figured out...wham! Another life lesson is put into place and I have to realize that I didn't have it all together like I thought.

I grew up with a dad that to me seemed controlling in almost every area of my mom's life.  All I saw was a big meany who wouldn't let my mom live up to her full potential.  Mom has a servant's heart and would give of herself until there was nothing left to give, take people in, feed people, house people...you know, serve.  Dad always curbed this, and I seriously thought he was being mean.  It's not until now, when I am 32 years old, have three children and a house of my own that I realize he was NOT being mean.  He was protecting her.  Dad knew that Mom would overextend herself and that people often took advantage of her.  He loved her enough not to let that happen, and when she just couldn't say no to someone, he would.  You know what?  My Dad took a lot of heat for that.  Our family teased him about being controlling, not letting mom make her own decisions ect.  Now I see it for what it really was; love.

When I married David, I rejoiced that I was free from the controlling ways of my Dad.  In David I found someone who let me go, do and be...whatever I wanted.  After nine years of marriage, and thinking things were pretty good, I found myself overextended yet again.  My gift is not serving, so I didn't think I had my Mom's tendencies, but it seems that it's more of a mothering thing, and less of a serving thing.  I have been trying to save everyone, whether they want it or not.  Save the family member who can't get control over their life and needs a place to call home, save friends who are troubled in various parts of their life, take on burdens that are not mine to bear, and basically spread myself so thin I am not doing any one thing effectively or to the best of my ability.

This past week, everything came to a head.  Financial stresses, personal stresses, working stresses ect and I watched as my husband became the tyrant I had once accused my dad of being.  He began taking back things that I had lost control of, started clearing my slate and taking charge of things I had long since forgotten were not mine to take charge of.  He started saying "no" for me when I couldn't do it myself, and slowly I am finding peace in the protection he is offering me.  He doesn't make me take it, it's easier on him if I take over everything, leave nothing for him to care about, but he offered and I reluctantly (at first) found myself heaving a sigh of relief.

I had the chance to talk to my Dad yesterday and tell him, "I get it".  He said nothing; just smiled and shook his head.

Ladies Retreat 2012

Well now that I am catching up on much needed sleep I can finally write about our ladies retreat that took place this past weekend.  In my "older" state, it takes me longer to recuperate from the lack of sleep that was a result of an amazing weekend!  In fact, I couldn't believe that I needed so much sleep to catch up...guess I'm not a teeny bopper anymore, someone please tell my head that. 

I had the privilege of picking up Judy Parmer around 10:00 Friday morning and after packing up my mom's suv (nice and clean, unlike either of our vehicles) we headed to the Hamilton mall.  I had to pick up a few things and Judy was game for some shopping.  It was great, and gave us time to catch up on everything that we don't usually have time to just chat on the phone about:)  After a bit we caught up with Theresa Albani and followed her (who needs a GPS, we had Theresa!!) to a place I had never been before.  We went to Whitehouse Sub Shop in Atlantic City!!  The three of us got a whole cheese-steak with fried onions and enjoyed the fresh rolls and atmosphere that you can only get at that sub shop!

When we finished up, it was getting cold outside, and so we decided to go to the pier on the boardwalk that has all the shops inside.  Every hour on the hour they have a water show that is set to music and has lights ect.  It's free for all the shoppers there, so we spent a little time shopping while waiting for the show.  It did not disappoint, and the three of us found ourselves tapping our feet to the music.  I remembered hearing about something special on the third floor, and so we ventured up to find the rumors were true.  There, inside the mall and out of the elements was beach sand and wonderful chairs to sit and relax in!  No matter what the weather, you could stick your toes in the sand and enjoy watching the waves below:) 

It was time to head over to our hotel after our busy afternoon.  The retreat was held at The Flanders Hotel.  This hotel is historic, and is beautifully decorated from the Victorian era.  The other really cool thing about the hotel is that it is right on the boardwalk which meant great views from our windows:)  I completely expected the entire hotel to be overly Victorian, but the rooms were to die for!  We had a one bedroom suite.  As soon as you walked in the door you felt "beachy", if that's even a word!  Light colors, great paintings on the walls, granite counter tops in the kitchenette and light colored furniture.  There was absolutely nothing to find fault with in this room.  I had two great roomies (Michelle and Janette) and had a great time talking, laughing and crying with them.

The speaker was amazing as well (way to go ladies retreat committee!!).  Christine Wyrtzen was our speaker and special musician.  It was a great weekend learning how to act like daughters of the king...too often we act like orphans, she taught us how to claim our King as our Father.  The testimonies from the ladies in our church were tear jerking and heartfelt.  It's true, you never really know someone until you've heard the story of how they became the person they are now.  And everyone has a story!!

Saturday was rainy and chilly, so I decided not to go up on the boards (jersey speak for boardwalk), but spend some time in my room reading ect.  Janette and Michelle had the same idea, and we soon had one of our other friends stop in, Louisa, and we all laughed, cried and hugged all afternoon!  We all agreed that had the weather been different, we would have all gone our separate ways; but God knew we needed that time together:)

The food, friends and teaching were great!  Sunday the sun came out and allowed all of us to walk the boards before we had to slip away from the shore and back to real life.  I feel blessed to have a husband that took over and held things together while I was gone.  The kids were happy I was home, but not desperate for me which made me feel better, I know they enjoyed their daddy time as much as he enjoyed his time with them.

Saturday night was our last night there and what started out as the girls in the room next door coming for a movie, turned into almost 20 women, snacks, movie and great fellowship!  It was so fun having the party at our place, and at each turn I feel more and more a part of this great family of women I have at Faith.  I am learning that sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone, and that's how you'll get to know people, and they get to know you.

They have taught me (just by being the lovely women they are) that you can't form an opinion on someone until you have gotten to know them.  And it is really possible to have lots of loving friends who truly care about you.

Easter is now right around the corner, we are getting ready for an egg hunt here on Friday and more fellowship time.  Sunday I am playing a duet with my very talented friend Judy, and we are all celebrating the death, burial and resurrection of our Lord.  I hope you all have the joy of celebrating that with us or wherever you may be.  Happy Easter everyone!

Feeling Inspired

I was wondering out loud to myself the other day, why would God bring us to a church where there was so much love, so much support; I can actually feel the support lifting me up.  I think I know why.

  I feel like that brand new spring flower poking it's head up through the soil, you know the one that is so ugly and green; all it wants is the sun to touch it and make it beautiful.  I feel my soul reaching up towards the Son, and I can't wait to see what kind of flower I become with His love shining down on me.  My church family is like the loving gardener that knows the flower will come - with lots of love, watering and waiting.

I can share my heart with these people, they don't judge me, they love me, pray for me, and that means the world to me.  They have hugged me just when I need it, pushed me outside of my comfort zone and loved me in spite of myself.

When doubts come I just tell myself that God has forgiven me, and so I forgive myself - my past will not hold me back.  I am capable of so much more than I can even dream, and God is the one that put that potential inside of me.  If there was ever a time that I should be depressed, it should be now; but I'm not...I want to shout from the rooftops what God has done for me. 

Early Mornings...are they worth it?

I've never been an early morning person; though David would beg to differ.  I guess I am a morning person in comparison to him, who loves to roll out of bed as late as possible.  But compared to my dad who is up at 5:00 every morning, I'm quite a slacker! 

My mom has always told me that whomever is up first in our house will rule the day, and that may be true, but I refuse to get up before the boys.  My boys got their early rising genes from my dad apparently because as soon as the sun is up, so are they.  We've tried everything to keep them in bed a bit longer, even darkening shades to fake them into thinking the sun isn't  up yet!  Alas, they have internal time clocks that are unable to be turned off.

Orchestra practice at church begins at 8:30 am.  Considering I have three kiddos to get ready and out the door, 8:30 is a pretty daunting time of the morning.  Our Worship Pastor was gracious and said that as long as I practiced at home during the week, I could just come and play for the 10:30 service, not worry about 8:30 practice.  I tried that for a couple weeks, and was just feeling as though I needed to practice with the group to really be a part of the group.  Not to mention Pastor Jason is a creative soul and likes to add bridges between songs; and even with all the help from Judy and Cheri, I was still at best, winging it.

Even more daunting then getting everyone out the door was the idea that the kids would have to sit in the sanctuary while I practiced for 30 minutes.  The thought was overwhelming enough to keep me from going.  It's one thing when I have David with me and he can keep the kids sitting with him.  But on the off month when David works weekends and doesn't come out to church with me it usually frazzles me just to do church on Sunday morning.

I spent some really great time with someone who is quickly becoming a real mentor in my life.  Cheri Keeton is one of our pastors wives and someone that I went to for some advice.  You see, I have plenty of people that would pat my back and give me sympathy over the things that I pity myself for.  But when I want someone to listen and then tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear, I go to Cheri.  She is not unsympathetic, but spiritually she gives me the wake up call that I need.  When I told her about my orchestra frustrations, she told me what I needed to hear. 

Her suggestion was, "Bring the kids and have them sit in the row right next to where you are practicing so you can keep an eye on them.  It teaches them how to show respect for God's house, and none of us mind if you have to get up every once in a while and have a talk with one of them."  What she said next really stuck out in my mind, she said, "Don't let Satan give you any reason to keep from serving God with your talent."

And there it was...the spiritual slap in the face that I needed for motivation.  So this morning I was up at 6:30, showering, dressing and planning on what to make for breakfast.  I had laid out everyone's clothes the night before, and we were out the door at 8:00 sharp.  There was no rushing around and mommy wasn't acting like a crazy person trying to make it to church on time.  I lined the kids up on the front pew without even so much as a spare second to threaten them within an inch of their life, and we began practice.

And you know what?  All three of my kids were still, quiet and very well behaved.   I thanked the Lord, and the three kids for their good behavior.  I was able to not be crazy mommy, rushing in to catch the last five minutes of practice and it turned out to be an amazing day.  Just think...our Heavenly Father loves us so much, he's preplaned our future lives with him.  Just think how peaceful it's going to be, no rushing, no craziness, just one good day after another; living with the best Father ever.

It Only Takes One...

In our church services recently we've been discussing what our role as individuals and as a whole church are for service within the community...what is our vision for 2012.  The pastoring staff has allowed several people (encouraged and enabled) to take a chance on a burden that they have for the community we live in.  An amazing woman named Lynleigh has started up a food pantry...she is busy stocking, planning and organizing so that we can meet some of the needs of those in our community that are struggling.  It's pretty amazing that they are helping her fulfill this dream, Lynleigh is a registered dietitian, and an amazing mother of two beautiful girls.  God is so good to equip us with just what we need to meet needs right around us.

Our pastors have encouraged us to all think about something we've been burdened to do, and start putting some legs to our burdens.  I really felt that starting to play in the orchestra was something I wanted to do to serve, and I have been having a ball!  Two weeks ago was my first time, and I was the only violin.  When I walked in to service this past week, imagine my surprise when I found another violinist sitting in the orchestra!!  I introduced myself right away and I can't wait to spend some more time playing violin with Ashley.  This was her first week to play, and Rose, you are going to love her violin!!!  Passed down through her family, the entire thing is hand crafted out of wood...right down to the chin rest

Sunday morning was a little stressful for me.  The van is broken at this point in time so I used David's truck, but it was so difficult to get the kids boosters in and find the seat belts that were tucked into the cushions that I almost threw my hands up and said forget it.  But I couldn't wait to get to church and listen, learn and play with the orchestra again.  So I braved the bone chilling wind and the craziness that is me taking all of the kids anywhere by myself and we made it to church.  I dropped Brandon off in nursery...thank you Doris for taking him early, and I threatened the other two within an inch of their life and sat them in a row of seats while I went to practice for about the last five minutes of practice time. 

I  was so excited that the kids behaved fairly well, but I still missed out on most of the practice time and so wasn't entirely sure of how we were transitioning from song to song, but I figured worse comes to worse I'll wing it (hey, I'm a mom, we do that right??).  Since the violin doesn't have any microphone, it probably wouldn't matter too much if I even played in the wrong key, so it's giving me a chance to get comfortable before everyone can hear my mistakes:)  Judy very kindly offered to walk me through the order right before service, and so I caught up to her with five minutes to spare.  She was eating on the run and when she heard that I hadn't had breakfast she split her slice of pumpkin bread with me! 

Later that evening my girlfriend Janette called to make sure that I was okay...hooray for friends!  Now if we could just get our other friend to come home from being on vacation (yes Louisa, I mean you!) it would be even better.

Lynleigh, Judy, Janette, Louisa and Doris...so blessed to have you in my life.  I actually heave a sigh of relief when I think of you guys...cause when I walk through the door at Faith Bible Church, it's like an extension of home.  And I have you guys to thank for that!

A New Year

Just yesterday I took the tree down.  This is the first year I can remember that I left it up past the new year, and the first year that I hated to see it go back in it's large, square, cardboard box.  I have so enjoyed the season that I decided to keep my ceramic houses and some other "winter" type decorations up.  I am glad though, that the mess in the house is going away; I won't miss that part of the holiday!  I am also thoroughly Christmas songed out...

I didn't make any resolutions, at least none that I thought were good enough to put on paper!  I guess I feel like I should be making good resolutions all year long, and not just on a specific day.  We haven't had the weather we are used to for this time of year, in fact it just now got cold enough to qualify as a NJ winter in my book...21 degrees outside for most of the day!  I was in the basement yesterday and saw a passing snow shower; now, I'm not gunning for snow, but it was so pretty to watch the first snow fall.  It reminded me how we are washed clean in the blood of Jesus, and how my sins are as white as that snow falling softly to the ground yesterday.

We have been praying for David's work schedule to change this year (move from nights to days) so that we could have a more normal type of routine with the kids.  God chose to let us remain on the night shift for another year, and to tell you the truth I am not one bit upset.  I feel that this is where He wants us to be, and He'll give us the strength to make it through this year.  So grateful that David has a job, and I still have prayer warriors praying on behalf of our desire.

I am so excited to say that my parents are attending church with me and my family!  I love having them there, it feels like we are back together as a spiritual family as well as a physical family:)  I don't know if they'll choose to stay, but it's been fun having us all together again, worshipping together.

I can truly say that I've come into a new year a person, who through the grace of God, has become very comfortable with herself, excited to use my piano and violin talents for Him and loves her new church family.  Did you ever feel like you just won the biggest prize ever and no one person understands how precious that prize is to you?  I've waited so long, sat spiritually stagnant and now I have room to grow, desire to serve and love for my Savior that I didn't think was possible to have again.

This Sunday I will be playing my violin in the orchestra, next to my new friends, lifting the name of Jesus higher as we play for Him.  Happy New Year everyone!  I believe that God knows the plans He has for me...plans to prosper me, and I thank Him for that!